I have recently finished creating my own program for work-life balance. One of the reasons why I have created my own concept was because I have continuously tried to find for myself the key to working productively and efficiently and at the same time to enjoy the activities I love, like: spending time with family and friends, following my passions. Every time I was reading articles related to the subject, everything seemed to be so easy to be put into practice (go to gym, sleep enough, eat healthy food, meditate…), so available to everyone, ready just to be done.
In my work as psychotherapist I see all the time how important motivation is to find the power to change things for yourself. So how come that despite all good advices, so many people still have an imbalanced life-style? This question motivated me to start looking at work-life balance from a psychotherapeutically point of view and to develop the Master your work-life balance program.
In this blog post I want to share some key insights that will bring you awareness about the importance of finding the right motivation to start mastering your work-life balance:
IT ALL BEGINS WITH THESE BASIC QUESTIONS
Am I worthy of happiness? Do I deserve to enjoy my success at work? Do I deserve to form and maintain nourishing relationships in my private life? Shortly said: do I have a healthy self-esteem?
These questions have a crucial importance because the level of our self-esteem has profound consequences for every aspect of our existence: how we operate/behave in the workplace, how we deal with the people surrounding us, how much we are willing to achieve at work, with whom are we likely to fall in love.
I believe there is a strong connection between self-esteem and motivation to change our lives. If we hold the belief that our self-esteem depends on our work achievements and we feel safe this way, we might avoid working on our personal lives, especially if we have lower opinions about our abilities in relationship issues. So, what we do, is we strengthen the same muscle, instead of strengthening the weak muscles because we prefer what is easy for us, where our confidence is high and avoid what feels difficult.
Similarly, if we hold lower self-esteem about our health and fitness level, every attempt to improve it might be difficult because of the unfamiliarity to go start new positive habits that might improve our health.
JUST AS A STRONG BODY SHOULD BE SUSTAINED BY ALL MUSCLES, SO SHOULD OUR SELF-ESTEEM BE STRONG IN ALL ASPECTS: WORK, RELATIONSHIPS, HEALTH, SPIRITUALITY
It looks like self-esteem makes the path to achievement easier and more likely. But it can also be the case of a person with lower self-esteem, but high intelligence, strong achievement orientation and ambition to accomplish a lot. What will be missing is the ability to enjoy what has been achieved, as it seems like nothing is enough. This is what we call a workaholic.
This is the reason why, before starting the work-life balance program, I find of crucial importance the discussion about one's beliefs and opinions, about how much we value ourselves in different aspects of our lives: work & career, physical appearance & body image, social and love relationships, health.
I call this part setting the ground base for building a good work life balance program. When this is done, we move towards defining your purpose, articulating the most important values in your life and defining a vision both professionally and personally.
Once the vision has been defined, we go to the next step of doing the reality check. Here we see what the actual status is, where are the keepers and also the challenges and how to face them. Different exercises show very clearly how we spend our time and our energy and what we can improve in our organizational skills.
The last step is to implement and maintain new positive habits that are serving your new work- life vision. Creating new habits is actually a very difficult part but holding ourselves in high esteem helps a lot.
And here comes the importance of the first question: if I value and accept myself, I am more motivated to try new things that are making me happier and by trying, I get new experiences. Once we create new, positive experiences, then we can continue building positive habits around them.
This was just an insight into my beliefs about the connection between self- esteem and work- life balance. For more details, I offer first meetings free of charge where I answer your questions.
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