Anger changes the atmosphere in a room. A voice becomes louder, movements become sharper, or someone starts pacing, sighing or speaking with visible irritation. Even when the anger is not directed at us, our own body may tense. We become alert, we may want to calm the person down, defend ourselves or leave the room. This reaction doesn't necessarily mean we are overly sensitive. Our nervous system continuously reads facial expressions, tone of voice, posture and movement for signs of safety...
High-functioning depression is not an official diagnosis, but it's a term used to describe people who experience feelings of depression while being able to maintain their daily responsibilities. People who experience it still show up at work. They meet their deadlines, answer their emails, and manage to keep a full schedule. Because of this, from the outside, everything looks fine; no one could tell. But from inside, the world looks different. Some warning signs to look out for include: —...
Sometimes we are attracted to the wrong partner in our lives, and we end up in a cycle of unhappiness, unable to get out. Why is this happening? John Bowlby was the first one to discover that: „all humans share the primitive instinct that familiarity means safety “. This means, that if we grew up with caregivers who couldn’t and didn’t satisfy our emotional needs (of love, attention, empathy, safe boundaries, praise, safety) we might feel subconsciously drawn to partners who are treating us...
We all experience times of heated discussions when we are angry, irritated, or annoyed by our partners, co-workers, or friends. It is how we behave in response to these feelings that make the difference in the course of our relationships: it can make it better or worse. While irritation and annoyance are easier to manage, anger is an unproductive feeling. Although it is a useful signal, a “warning light” that causes us to act, as a solution, anger rarely helps, for it adds fuel to the fire...
Today I rediscovered by mistake in my notes a line that belongs to Haruki Murakami, my favorite author. He said: „At some point, everything has to be told. If you don't, you remain forever a prisoner of the secret you carry in your soul.” His words touched me in a new way, as I understood them from a different perspective, with more experience of life, with more maturity. He made me reflect on my work, where I could find so many examples of people telling me they leave my office feeling...
I was walking my dog the other day while listening to music when my attention got caught by the lyrics of a song: “… I’m a happy dreamer, I believe in love …”. In that moment I realized that I’ve always been the kind of person who believes in love, who looks for it in many things, who strives for self-love. My wish is to share this view with you because I feel and have experienced that love and the connection that comes with it are the antidotes to unhappiness, loneliness, and even...
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